While rummaging through some old photos today, I found this video that Jonathan and I took while in Breckenridge. We were going down the tube slide at the top of Keystone. Needless to say, hilarity ensues.

House hunting is exhausting.

While the first few weeks are certainly new and exciting: looking at potential houses, seeing what’s on the market, dreaming of living in a brand new place, the fantasy of it all dries up very quickly when the reality of mortgage payments, budgets, and true costs set in. As a first-time home buyer, I probably had a more naive and innocent view of the process than I’d like to admit. However, after four months of searching, more than 50 home viewings, one rejected offer, one accepted-but-not-really-accepted offer, and an Everest climb to finally agree on terms, my naiveté quickly sobered up.

Today, I am extremely excited and relieved to report that I am finally under contract on a home. Jonathan and I can’t wait for closing so we can begin to move into what can certainly be called our ‘dream home’. As I look back over the last few months, for as wore out as I am, I feel more so overwhelmingly lucky.

I’ve always heard parents say that they work hard to so that their children can hopefully have a better life than they did. Without a doubt, I could not be sitting here ready to become a home owner without my parents. While I am sure on their first visit as they look around our beautiful home, my dad will say in disbelief, “Do you know what your mother and my first house was like?”, I will smile quietly because I know without him and my mother and their hard work to provide a balanced life for my brother and I, none of this would be possible. So while I will laugh along with my parents in their dismay, I will thank then in the same breath for giving me the opportunity to have a better life and to make something grand of myself.

A few weeks ago, Jonathan and I traveled back to Florida to visit family. We started in Orlando, stayed for a few days and then drove up to Ocala to spend time with Jonathan’s sister, who recently gave birth to a little baby boy. She lives on a horse farm with her husband, the little one, and a ready-to-rule-the-world 2 year old. On a side note, I do have to say, parenting is exhausting. I spent less than 48 hours with Jonathan’s niece and nephew, and I was exhausted. More power to moms out there. That is definitely the toughest job around. Not to mention, wiping up poop is disgusting.

But, back to our travels.

After our visit in Ocala, we worked our way back to Atlanta by way of Gainesville. We ended up in town on a day that most out-of-towners end up there: Game Day. Game Days are pretty electric in Gainesville. Everyone is your best friend, and there is a lot of drinking going on that usually lasts all day – regardless of when the game actually is. Jonathan and I have both seen quite a few games in Gainesville, so while it was nice to be there during that madness, it wasn’t really the main reason we went. We wanted to visit old friends, whom we hadn’t seen in quite some time.

Although I had high hopes for the visit, it took maybe 10 minutes to realize the day wasn’t going to be what I’d expected. As much of a special place as Gainesville has in my heart, it unfortunately never really changes. The students who dominate the population remain young and self-involved. Their infectious behavior seems to influence those who interact with them, regardless of how far removed from the undergrad age one may be. While I’m all for cutting loose and having a good time, I also realize I’m not 21 anymore. There is a certain point in your life when getting drunk and hooking up with girls is inappropriate. I’m sorry, but it just is. There is a certain point where you need to grow up. And when so-called good friends come into town to visit you, don’t spend the entire time with your maybe-but-not-really girlfriend who doesn’t like ‘labels’. She isn’t more important than your friends. And if you’d beg to differ, let’s revisit the issue in 6 months and see who’s still around.

Needless to say, as I sat in an empty living room alone with my dear friend gone for the last hour and a half, I was annoyed. As I talked about in Bros Before Hoes – Really?, I have a hard time with people who completely dismiss their friends when they have a new love interest. And to have that situation realized right before my eyes was infuriating. If you really are meant to be with someone, you shouldn’t have to be glued to their side. What does it say about your relationship when you can’t spend 10 minutes apart? Or when you can’t even make time to spend with friends who traveled into town to see you?

On the other hand, maybe you should get in all those precious extra minutes, because that flame will soon flicker out. And you can bet the money you’ll spend trying to buy the love of the next girl that I will not be making any efforts to visit or let alone care. I am very disappointed that my last memory of being in Gainesville involves such selfishness and inconsideration by a so-called friend.

Not to worry though, Gainesville. I still have a special place in my heart for you. As for some of your inhabitants, I can’t say much more than, “Good riddance.”

I have always had a special place in my heart for music. Growing up, I went to more concerts that I can remember. I lost more hearing from standing too close to the speakers than I wish to admit. But there was always something magical about cramming myself between hundreds or even thousands of other people to hear to hear songs that I’ve heard a thousand times before. At a show, songs always sound differently. The music is live. It comes alive. There is some magical element that appears between the notes, between the lyrics when a song is played in front of a crowd. It’s hard to explain. I just know its there and that I’m in the thick of it when I the constant rhythm of the bass drum takes over my heart beat.

It is a very quiet dream of mine to one day hear thousands of people sing the words back to me that I wrote. To hear them echo through the sky and know the voices lifting them up do so with more love than I probably ever could would be beyond words. My dream is a quiet one though because it probably will never come true. I have certainly come to grips with that. The closest I’ve ever come to playing a show has been in a smokey bar singing “Low Rider” through a karaoke machine. Trust me – it was no rock concert. But no matter how long it’s been, every time a song comes on the radio or I see a show, that spark ignites again, and I think about my quiet dream.

As strange as it sounds, music is really rather spiritual to me. It’s divested of stereotypes and rules. It brings people together and has certainly been my lifeline through many dark nights. There are certain songs that instantly bring me back to where I’ve been. They are like invisible scars, reminding me of tremendous heartbreak or unbelievable happiness I’ve experienced. During the few minutes the song plays, I flip through an old photo album in my mind, reminiscing on the past. Sometimes it will only takes a a few chords or a single line to trigger it. And for a moment, I am back in time somewhere in my mind.

I hope that my deep love for music carries on with me to my next life. Maybe in that one, it will all come true. For now though, the smoke from my smoldering dream continues to fills my lungs and ever so faintly comes out with each breath. To see it, you’ll have to look closely. Or, come with me to a show. In the middle of it all, the fire will inflame and light the melodic magic in the air.

We’ve all heard the saying before: “Bros before hoes”. But how truthful is that rhyme really?

Most people who know me tend to joke that I don’t like people very much. I don’t have many close friends, and I have a hard time opening up to strangers. So, while I amusingly laugh at that remark, it is both truthful and a bit hyperbolic. It’s not that I don’t like people, but rather that people tend to quickly disappoint me. One could argue that I have pretty high expectations for the human race. I mean, why shouldn’t I? We are supposed to be the most advanced species, are we not? So, while among the bonds of everyday friendships, I don’t know why I’m so surprised that “Bros before hoes” is great in theory, but never really happens.

As a tangent – I feel I must clarify my interpretation of the phrase in question here. “Bros before hoes”, to me, conveys that friends don’t stop exiting when you obtain a significant other. It does not denote that you can act like a tool to your new girlfriend because of some ridiculous ‘bro code’ made up by your fraternity mates one drunken night in the middle of the woods. But I digress.

Maybe there is a reason ‘friend’ is within the words boyfriend and girlfriend. Maybe it’s a subtle reminder that this new romantic interest shouldn’t all of a sudden produce tunnel vision, blacking out all the other people in your life. The friends who stuck by you while you were sad, miserable, and lonely shouldn’t be pushed to the wayside just because something new and shinny comes along. We aren’t attention-lacking dogs for Christ sake. And friends especially shouldn’t start getting phone calls from you again when the “love of your life” suddenly walks out after 3 months (shocker!). A little common decency should be expected among friends. Otherwise, we are really just shrinks without the pay.

So while I can understand the idea of a new relationship is exciting and full of possibilities, I also know what it’s like to be that friend that all of a sudden doesn’t see your name listed in the in her call log anymore. So if I come off harsh or distant when you attempt contact me again after your shiny, new toy has become dull and uninteresting, don’t take it personally. I just don’t work for free.

I’ve been doing a little soul searching lately, and I figured what better way to figure out my next steps than to take a personality test. If anything, it would be interesting to see what the results were. I needed a little help here and there to choose the answer that most suited me. Answering these types of surveys always toe the line of what you are and what you’d like think you are.

Based on the results, I think I answered pretty accurately.

Here is the description of the “ISFJ” type.

Right on.

I’m watching Warren Buffet on CNBC right now. For some random reason he’s being interviewed in what looks like the middle of a furniture store. Don’t quite understand that. I guess CNBC really took to the frugal philosophy.

Regardless, Buffet made a comment about wishing he was 21 right now and not in his 70s because of the future America has ahead of it once we straighten things out. That made me excited. Very excited.

However, until I can figure out how to be truthful in this medium without feeling like I’ll compromise – however unfairly – certain aspects of my life, I won’t go into why Warren Buffet’s comment makes me excited. But just know I’ve been thinking a lot lately, and big changes are coming. Big.

For the last six months, I have been training for the Peachtree Road Race here in Atlanta. It’s run every year on the 4th of July and travels down Peachtree Road, one of the busiest roads in the city. More then 50,000 runners take off at Lennox Mall and run 6.2 miles to Piedmont Park. Pretty remarkable to see thousands of people take over the streets in Atlanta. 

Despite my great progress, I ran into some trouble in my training about a month ago. My excitement got the best of me, and I hurt my knee pretty badly. My right knee cap started popping out of socket, which was pretty painful to say the least. After staying off it for a month and getting a brace, the doctor gave me the thumbs up to complete the race. 

I was pretty nervous waking up yesterday. I didn’t think I’d be able to run as much as I’d hoped when I set this goal for myself. However, once I got in the middle of all the runners, my adrenaline took over. Minus Cardiac Hill, I was able to run most of the race. I completed it in 1 hour and 19 minutes, much faster than I had expected. After about the first mile, I just got into the zone, and forgot about any pain.

The last 1/4 mile was the toughest. I was exhausted, but I could see the finish line ahead. I focused on my mantra and dug deep to keep moving. With about 400 meters to go, I saw Jonathan on the sideline, which gave me just the boost I needed to push through and sprint to the finish. Crossing the finish line was a rush of emotion. I was exhausted and elated all at the same time. I had accomplished something I didn’t think was possible 6 months ago. It was a great feeling to know all the hard work and dedication paid off.

Now, back to the streets.

After making an unfortunate left, which left my trusty ole Civic looking like this, I was out a car, up a few thousand dollars, and ready to buy a new ride. I had planned on trying to buy a new car next year, when I hopefully was making some more income. However, life throws you curve balls sometimes, so I tried to hit a home run.

After doing about 2 weeks of research online, I had narrowed my choices down to a Toyota Rav4 or a Honda CR-V. After looking at both new and used cars, I found that used cars with several thousand miles were being sold for only a few thousand dollars below new. So, I started my quest yesterday looking at the the 2009 version of each vehicle.

Now, I have never bought my own car. My Civic was my first car, which my gracious parents purchased for me. All I ever did was pick a color. My dad handled all the down and dirty negotiating. However, this time, it was all up to me. Now, I had some disbelievers. Some close to me didn’t think I could go in and negotiate with the car dealer. But with my money on the line, I was ready to play some hardball.

Here are a few tips I used to get the price I wanted on the car I wanted.

• Do a ton of research. Know which vehicle you want and what features you’re looking for. Know what the MSRP and Invoice price is. Look at new cars and used cars. If the used cars are not much cheaper than the new, that’s probably a good thing. That means the car retains its value well, so you’ll have to weigh the long term cost of buying new versus used. Also, when you know your numbers, you’ll know when you find a good deal.
• Do some preliminary work. Email all the model dealers in the area with the specific car you want. Have them email you back with their best offer. This will give you a jumping off point. The real negotiating will go down in person, but when you’ve got some numbers on paper, you’re well equipped to start pitting the dealers against each other to get the best deal.
• Have your number in mind. You have to know what you can afford before you walk in the door. Write the number down on a piece of paper if you have to, but don’t just forget all reason once you get into the showroom.  Know what load you can afford at what rate as well. It doesn’t end once you get the car price, you still have to negotiate the financing. The dealers will try and sell you left and right. That’s what they do for crying out loud. So, before you get in over your head, you have to know where your limit is. 
• Test drive. Presumptions will go out the window once you get behind the wheel. And if you’re test driving two difference makes, tell each one that you still need to go drive the other, even if you already have. 
• Remember it’s business. The dealers need you more than you need them. Be calm and speak clearly and directly. It is a business transaction, so you have to treat it as such. 
• Be ok with walking away. Even if you’ve fell in love with the perfect car, be willing to walk out the door if the price isn’t right. If the dealer wants your business enough, they’ll make it work. If not, you go to the next one. You can always come back.

In the end, once I agreed on a price and got the financing in order, I asked Jonathan, “How far away from the building do I have to wait to do a dance?” Needless to say, I was pretty excited. I got an extraordinary deal on the car by knowing my numbers and not giving in. I felt pretty proud of myself. First big negoitating deal done. Now, on to buying a house!

Here are some pics of the new car. I went with the Rav4. It just drove so much nicer than the CR-V. I’m still extremely happy with it after sleeping on it for the night, so I think I made the right choice.

..but oh so true!

Read this today and thought I’d share.

“Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she’ll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she’ll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she’ll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she’ll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit.”